I’m seldom okay with where my life is situated right now. I really, REALLY NEED to get my shit together. Being “that one child” in the family isn’t a reason to go out fucking up the chances of my well-being to become a bigger, better person. This year I fucked up. I went to shit, LITERALLY. Having a job and being a full-time student isn’t an excuse I can use anymore. Truthfully, I’ve gone to shit. I’ve fucked up every chance I have ever gotten to being the best I can be this year. Now, all I have are the future years to come where I can reflect on this single, shitty year and become better. I’ve hit bottom so all there is now is to go up. Finding yourself saying that sucks ass. It does. It sucks fucking monkey shit. I never want to hear/see myself say that again. It’s a sad slogan. All there is really is to go up. It’s just my choice on whether or not I want to take it and be better than what I’ve become. A year from now, I want to look back at myself and say, “Oh gosh, I really went to shit that year..” Yes, that will be the day.

It’s truthfully nights like these that make me happy that I’m somewhat distant from people. Don’t get me wrong, I love my friends and family, but if you see each other everyday then the phrase “What’s New?” can’t really dignify anything. That’s what makes it so special! A group of people that love each other sitting around a table with some concocted boba mixture or a nice heaping cup of java combined with a nice story really makes your time really worth while, touching up with each other while getting closer. You get to go for hours on end about how life has been up to that point. I love it. It builds up a natural anxiety that builds up just listening to what has been going on in their lives. 

One’s a company, two’s a crowd, three’s a party, four and more and you might as well set up a campfire, bust out the instruments and smores, and tell stories to your heart’s content.